Currently Listening Reasons Why: The Very Best (CD + DVD) By Nickel Creek see related

STRESS. crazy things isn't it? and it can usually be alievieated in a matter of minutes, like something you were freaking out about for approximately 2 weeks, and then you get a test back or you take it and suddenly your body just relaxes, and you realize how ridiculous it is to get so uptight about things... but you keep doing it? I am a worry-wart. officially. And I freak out about things. not psycho-ly flip out, but definetly panic. And I'm not the greatest person under stress. But the month of December completely flew by, like in 5 minutes because I was soo stressed and so focused on things dealing with school and such that it seemed everything else in my life completely lacked, my relationships with my dear friends, my parents, my brothers, my Jesus, simply everything. Even my room was wreck. :) I don't have a real conclusion to this... I still haven't figured out a way to deal with stress, and how to balance important things like school, with important things like relationships. Soo this is simply a reflection? on the craziness of december, and how much I missed. Hmmm.

This weekend is going to be soo good. Intense. But good. I have a load of homework, an intense track meet, and a REUNION with becky. I'm amazingly excited.

Oh and I'm reading John  which is soo interesting, I mean I know all the stories in it, but just reading it soaking in the words, pausing to reflect on the meanings and the underlying expressions is just crazy. I love learning new things like this, even though I get confused my John... it's just something that makes you stop and think, and really reflect on the ways of Jesus, and his followers. ahh. more to come about this... I have to go study for an a.p. u.s. history test (death) ahhhh.

I have this amazing pear scented lotion on my hands right now, and it makes me soo happy, so joyful that it's fall. FALL.

I was just watching Grey's Anatomy and was thinking about how different people's lives are, how all of our different experiences add up to something in this world, how we all experience different aspects of life, like some of us experience death, or true happiness, or love... or joy, or longing, or pain. Any different thing, and we all experience most of that, but some experience it more intensely than others, in bigger doses, and it changes us, molding us to who we are. It makes us realize that we're alive again, that we're actually living, and not just in a dream world. It also made me think about how a lot of us lead such sheltered lives. That's not bad, it's just different, than what a lot of the world experiences... that pain, that agony, that sadness... and finding what truely counts in life what really matters. How interesting is that? It makes me think about what kind of life I actually want to have, one that's happy and good... or one that's soo real to every emotion. I think I would want the ladder one... I think that actually sounds crazy though, wanting to be exposed to sadness, and anger, and hate, and grief.... but I think I want to be able to understand the world we live in, I want to understand  this world, and maybe not even understand, but be able to relate to people... whatever their situation, to be able to be like, yes... yes I can see why you're hurting, I don't understand it fully, but to be able to see people on both sides of the spectrum, their pain... their motives, their faults.

Random thought of the day.

Song of the week.... Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.... wow I am soooo in love with that song. If I just lay here, will you lay with me... and just forget the world.... basically it's beautiful :) thought I would share that with you.